It was over a year ago now that I told my family and friends about this idea that I had. The publishing industry was in trouble, I said, and so I'm gonna take the novel that I was starting and serialize it weekly on my website. I wrote and finished the first two chapters and, on February 4th, released the first few pages on my site.
In my head, I had always imagine that A Kind of Drug would finish out around 300 pages. That would make each of the 12 chapters that I mapped out for th novel about 25 pages each; a pretty reasonable length. But then, something happened.....
The book started getting longer. Much longer. As of this moment in time, AKOD is about 250 pages long and only halfway finished. I have been obsessing over this book for a year now. Working on it constantly. I even sit on the subway with printed pages and a red pen in my hand to do line edits. This book has become my existence. Which I'm not complainging about. But....
I did get exhausted. I decided I needed a short break before I lost what little was left of my sanity. And so, AKOD is taking a short break for the rest of 2011. It will be back in 2012 to complete the second half of the strange story that has really ran away with itself. And don't worry. This isn't some half-ass scheme where I say it'll be back in January, but maybe in won't. I already have 10 pages finished of Chapter 7 and plan on getting 5 to 10 more pages written tomorrow.
In the meantime, because I don't want to this site to become a tomb while AKOD's on a break, I'm gonna post some other stories to keep you all entertained. Some back catalog material that I never originally put on my site, for one reason or another. I hope it will keep you all entertained until Words return on January 6th.
So, I hope you enjoy Despair VIII as the world finally crumbles. I sincerely hope you stick around till next year when things really start getting crazy. Because if you've read this much, so far, you're really gonna love what happens next.
Ta for now. See you all again soon.
So, today part VII debuts. And this bastard still isn't over. Why is Despair such a long chapter (the longest to date and, most likely, what will be the longest in the whole book)?
Because I'm ending the fucking world. It isn't exactly easy. And I'm not using any Michael Bay aliens with city-leveling ray guns. I'm doing this organically. It's a lot more difficult.
But you're nearly there. Just hang in there.
Despair is obviously a chapter where a lot of bad things happen. I mean, if I wrote a chapter called "Rapture" where people attempt suicide, what's really to be expected from one called "Despair"?
Usually, the chapters have moments of levity in them. Or humor. Or whatever. But I always envisioned Despair to be the big shitstorm to end all shitstorms. So when I make these updates and constantly say "Yeah, things get worse" well, I'm just starting to feel like an repetitive asshole.
Even more than usual.
After Despair, it'll go back to it's sort of normal "bad things happen, but so do other things, too" motif. In fact, chapter 7 (Sloth) is going to contain a segment involving a very long, philosophical discussion about the nature of Words.
And I apologize in advance for the lack of rape during that segment. I'll see what I can fit in.
I really wish all these updates came with a bag of chips, don't you? Man, that'd be awesome. Doritos. Cool Ranch flavor. Maybe one of those grab bag sizes. Yeah.
Right. So, back on earth, Despair continues to progress awfully. Not in the sense that I had trouble writing it. More in the sense that more infinitely awful things continue to happen in the AKOD universe. This will not change for sometime. Every time you think to yourself "Hey, it can't get much worse than this," you should slap yourself.
I promise. It's getting worse.
I forget how many people I killed in Despair V. I think at least half a million. Maybe more.
The fact that I'm smiling when I think of how many people I "killed" is bad.
Someone: send help.
Last week, I didn't do an update? Why? Because I'm a salty son of a bitch and I fucking hate you.
I actually just totally forgot about it. I was running late and posted Despair III right before I ran out the door. I didn't remember until like Tuesday that I forgot to do one of these things and thought, fuck it.
Also, I CONSTANTLY am typing "delirium" instead of "despair". Seriously, every time you see the word "Despair" whether it be in the novel, on my facebook page, or even in this update itself, you can expect that I probably had the word "Delirium" written there first and that I had to go back and edit it properly. I have no idea why, but my brain really seems to prefer the word "Delirium" over "Despair".
I think it's cause I'm drunk so often. And that delirium is just sort of a natural state for me. Therefore my brain meats find comfort in typing that word.
Either that or I'm just a salty son of a bitch.
Yeah, that's probably it.
Oh, and Despair IV is up.
In Despair II, something happens that has never happened before:
People die. And the narrarator gets drunk. And is a sarcastic dick.
"NOO!!" I can hear you gasp from distant lands.
Hm. I wonder where I got the idea to make the narrator a sarcastic dick? Can't imagine.
Despair II is live. Read it while drinking brandy. It'd be such a treat. And you deserve it, you sexy beast, you.
Okay. After last week's delay, Despair I is finally live. This chapter (which is about 40 pages in total) could arguably be the darkest thing I've ever written. I mean, I don't think there's a single page that has cause for joy. There might be one or two, here and there, but if you've learned anything about my style of writing yet, then you should also know that doom is right around the corner.
Doom. What a fun word.
Anyway, strap on your seatbelts, kids. Cause this is the start of a long, miserable road.
So there's bad news and worse news.
The bad news is that AKOD was not updated at noon today as it was supposed to be. Hell, it's 4pm right now. Not even close.
The worse news is that there is no update today. I'm currently in Florida for my very good friend's wedding and...heh heh....didn't bring my laptop with me. I can still log in and update my site from other computers, but not having my files makes it very hard to upload Despair I as planned. And seeing as I don't get back to NYC till Tuesday, well, yeah, I think you all get idea.
My deepest apologies to you all. I owe you one. Hugs?
In a little bit of coincidental poetry, Delirium VII debuts today, on this day of the Autumnal Equinox. So the fall of the world begins with the fall of the season.
Though I would like to state that Chapter 6 - Despair will NOT be the final chapter of the book. Even though, yes, the world is ending, the narrator still has quite a journey ahead of him until he ends up on a little boat in the middle of the Atlantic. In fact, Chapter 6 only marks the midway point of the novel. I haven't even come close to finishing up.
So get your bunnies and your Beatrice outfits and your Thai food ready. Cause this is when shit starts getting real.
"Start to go wrong?" you ask yourself.
Well, yes and no. Obviously things have been "going wrong" for some time now. But in Delirium V, things get personal. The world stops falling apart around the narrator and begins to fall on him.
Only a little bit though. The worst is still being saved for Despair.
So enjoy these last few, upbeat portions of AKOD. Cause in a few weeks, everything that's come before Despair is gonna seem like a great big basket of kittens.